This is gonna' be sappy, and sentimental....so if you're not sentimental and sappy, leave now.
Jack's birthday is today.
My boy has been gone 4 and 1/2 months. Weird....it feels like 4 and 1/2 seconds. Truly. It feels like seconds of grief, oceans of tears, and I love this feeling. It must never go away. I have no want for this intense emptiness to leave. Is there anyone who knows the feeling?
His face is the one I see on my computer wallpaper, it is the last photo I took of him.
His face, that unique *Jack* face....I can still look at his photos, and feel him. I mean, freaking feel him butting up against my leg. I can see him, I can feel his breath on my neck where he slept all crooked up to get the draft from the open window, and to keep me within his paw reach.
I see him running through the bull rushes like a maniac, I see him sitting beside me, laying beside me, I see his oh sooo perfect face lifting up for a facial massage. I feel his breath.
I have a *blankie* of his I haven't washed yet. ( he was cremated with his favorite....and oh!....he was a very macho dog and would abhor the word *blankie* ) and is up on a top shelf. Sooometimes, I grab it and suck in the smell of him.
My boy is still an addiction.
"Is there anyone who knows the feeling?"
ReplyDeleteYes, oh yes......and my heart reaches out to you tonight.
Breathe in Jack's spirit, revel in those memories, feel and smell and taste his very being; he is always with you just as my Caleb is always with me.
They never leave us; they are but a memory away.
Jean there has said it all. I remember reading about Jack then and I was left in tears, but in a way I was glad that he had you as his guarding angel and an outstanding friend. I have been through the same thing 8 years ago, and even though I care for my three wonderful canine children today, and even though they fill my family's world, I always wonder if he's somewhere up there, wandering lonely as a cloud, and watching over my earthly family. Just as I watched over him. And he'll always be there, in our very special memories, along with Jack and Caleb and all those generous souls that made our lives & homes a richer place.
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