Charles Lamb said that. He was an English gentleman poet and a loyal brother to his sister, both of whom suffered from bouts of Melancholia. What a pretty word for depression.
It dawned on me about 2 years ago that if I fracture a bone, it will take me much much longer to heal than just 10 years ago. Once that sunk in, well hell, it freaked the crap outta’ me.
I remember the olden days ( did I just say that out loud?? ) when I was as nimble as a Gazelle.
As agile as a Cougar
And as sure footed, err, sure tailed as a spider monkey
Okay. Maybe not. Maybe I was never as nimble, agile and sure footed/tailed as I think I use to be. Whatever.
I remember leaping up onto counters to clean the top shelf, and bouncing down BOING! when finished. Now I seek out the step-stool and configure the whole procedure like an expert mountain climber.
I warily peer up at the top shelf, look down with trepidation at the step stool, and begin to formulate a master plan. Because, hey, people have been known to fall off 2 foot step stools and die.
Then I make a tea. And say out loud to myself in my bestest Scarlett voice, I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow. The dogs then look at me and sneer.
I bravely hike the 2 steps to the top of the stool ( hey, a person could fall off a step stool and break their necks and die you know! ) , tightly grab hold of the corner of the cabinet and gingerly pull myself up so I’m standing on the counter. All the while planning how and where to place my poor aged body when if I fall.
Finished with the hated chore, I look down and face the 128 million miles to the floor. I contort my body and stretch my leg out to meet the top step. All the while saying to myself * careful, c a r e f u l, c a a a a r e f u u u u l.
And then I party and make myself another tea.
Because I'd like to grow very old as slowly as possible.
Know why? Because my first grandbaby is going to make his/her entrance in a couple of months…here’s the latest portrait of our wee perfect and precious darlin’
ROFL!!! Colleen, that was hilarious - and sooooo familiar. I swear I never used to have a problem hopping up onto counters and back down. Or standing on a chair to change a lightbulb and jumping on and off several times (remove shade and jump down to wash it; remove bulb and jump down to put it in trash; put in new bulb and jump down to retrieve clean shade; replace shade and jump down to tackle the next task). Now, it has become an all day job to change a bulb, and made all the harder by the fact I've shrunk nearly two inches and can't reach the fixture so easily from a kitchen chair.
ReplyDeleteYup, ya gotta stay in good shape for that grandbabe. I'm jealous.
"I've shrunk nearly two inches"
ReplyDeleteI argued with someone a while back about their tape measure being a big fat liar. I refuse to accept that I may have *shrunk*.
I remember reading a story on your blog about you and the 2 dogs going for a drive up a logging road and turning back when you got too far because you were unsure of where you were. I do that mostly too now. Not too long ago I would have kept driving to see where the road took me! But now all I can think about is driving 20 miles up a mountain, breaking a leg and being too far from a hospital/van breaking down/getting into a wreck....the freaking list goes on.
Silly eh.
It's a sad reality -- but necessary. How the hell did we get this old? ;)
ReplyDeleteI ask myself that very same thing every time my old lady hip pains me. How the hell did I get this old?
ReplyDeleteCongrats! I think we are all feeling the age thing. Thanks for the Blog Follow.
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